Ephemeral

I find it frightening the way time flies by so quickly. It was December last year when I christened this blog; back then I did not have exams to worry about, no formulas to memorize. Although I was thoroughly stressed out by the heavy paper works and journalism stuff, I still had time to read books and blog often. I would admit, I miss that sort of carefree lifestyle. But then again, I do not regret the decision that I have made, no matter how difficult it is, and no matter how demanding it can be.

In less than a week or so, classes will finally resume. I'm terrified; I do not think I'm prepared for my first exam ever in Physics here in UP Diliman. I was solving tons of problem for the last chapter before I turned to blogging. I miss writing. I don't even have enough time for sleeping during school days, what more for creative writing? All I ever write these days are technical reports and the very minimal reflection papers for my only GE subject for this semester, Kas 1. I'm hoping that I will do well in my Physics 101 exam; I need something to boost my confidence, which has definitely dropped ever since I met my fellow Physics classmates for the first time (most of whom are comprised of DOST scholars, science high school graduate, and a few Oblation scholars). It can be very distressing when you are surrounded by such brilliant minds, when you know that you are just a normal student.

Good thing I really love Physics, although several instances it makes we want to cry. But once you are able to solve a certain problem, the kind of joy and satisfaction it can provide you is so immense and amazing. That is the thing with science and math. It is probably one of the reasons that I still strive even if it seems implausible for me to solve that certain number. I have my rough times though, and admittedly, a few weeks before the Christmas break, I spent one Saturday moping and being depressed just because I could not solve one of the numbers in our problem set. I knew the answer (courtesy of the answer key at the back of the book), and yet I couldn't fathom how it arrived to that. No matter what I did, I just couldn't even get at least one step right. I really believed I was the stupidest Physics student then. I had no  any will left anymore. I was seriously considering shifting out of the program to pursue my frustration, either BA European Languages or BA Linguistics. Good thing some of my friends were there to talk to me, and little by little I was able to recover. I took Physics aside for a while and began studying for Chemistry.

The next day, I learned that theformula for the Atwood's machine actually exists, and the only thing left for me to do is a little derivation. I almost smacked my head for my idiocy. Upon acquiring the equations, I was able to arrive at the correct answer. Yes, I was the happiest kid that day--all my desire of quitting Physics evaporated, and I vowed to myself that I will push this through, no matter what, no matter how difficult it is.

Another inspiration for me is astronomy. I'm currently applying in UP AstroSoc. And to be honest, astronomy is one of the main reasons why I decided to major in physics (with quantum mechanics as the other, plus watching a bunch of physics and chemistry related documentary). Every time I feel like giving up, I just look up and gaze at the stars, with the vastness of the universe slowly consuming me. It's enough reason to go on.