I find it frightening the way time
flies by so quickly. It was December last year when I christened this
blog; back then I did not have exams to worry about, no formulas to
memorize. Although I was thoroughly stressed out by the heavy paper
works and journalism stuff, I still had time to read books and blog
often. I would admit, I miss that sort of carefree lifestyle. But then
again, I do not regret the decision that I have made, no matter how
difficult it is, and no matter how demanding it can be.
In
less than a week or so, classes will finally resume. I'm terrified; I
do not think I'm prepared for my first exam ever in Physics here in UP
Diliman. I was solving tons of problem for the last chapter before I
turned to blogging. I miss writing. I don't even have enough time for
sleeping during school days, what more for creative writing? All I ever
write these days are technical reports and the very minimal reflection
papers for my only GE subject for this semester, Kas 1. I'm
hoping that I will do well in my Physics 101 exam; I need something to
boost my confidence, which has definitely dropped ever since I met my
fellow Physics classmates for the first time (most of whom are comprised
of DOST scholars, science high school graduate, and a few Oblation
scholars). It can be very distressing when you are surrounded by such
brilliant minds, when you know that you are just a normal student.
Good
thing I really love Physics, although several instances it makes we
want to cry. But once you are able to solve a certain problem, the kind
of joy and satisfaction it can provide you is so immense and amazing. That
is the thing with science and math. It is probably one of the reasons
that I still strive even if it seems implausible for me to solve that
certain number. I have my rough times though, and admittedly, a few
weeks before the Christmas break, I spent one Saturday moping and being
depressed just because I could not solve one of the numbers in our
problem set. I knew the answer (courtesy of the answer key at the back of the book), and yet I couldn't fathom how it arrived
to that. No matter what I did, I just couldn't even get at least one
step right. I really believed I was the stupidest Physics student then. I
had no any will left anymore. I was seriously considering shifting out
of the program to pursue my frustration, either BA European Languages or
BA Linguistics. Good thing some of my friends were there to talk to me,
and little by little I was able to recover. I took Physics aside for a
while and began studying for Chemistry.
The
next day, I learned that theformula for the Atwood's machine actually exists,
and the only thing left for me to do is a little derivation. I almost
smacked my head for my idiocy. Upon acquiring the equations, I was able
to arrive at the correct answer. Yes, I was the happiest kid that
day--all my desire of quitting Physics evaporated, and I vowed to myself
that I will push this through, no matter what, no matter how difficult it is.
Another
inspiration for me is astronomy. I'm currently applying in UP AstroSoc.
And to be honest, astronomy is one of the main reasons why I decided to
major in physics (with quantum mechanics as the other, plus watching a bunch of physics and chemistry related documentary). Every time I feel like giving up, I just look up and gaze at the stars, with the vastness of the universe slowly consuming me. It's enough reason to go on.
